May 2013
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2 tags
How to Ruin Rice-a-Roni: An Autobiography by me
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niallhortonhearsawho:
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
1 tag
Watchtsarcasm:
benchoppressed:
christopherdornersmasterplan:
u already kno what it is
i saw the nips n started cackling damn right i kno what this is
this video changed my life
titytwochainz:
you really a bitch if you let the microwave hit zeros while your family is asleep you disrespectful bitch
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1 tag
1 tag
egberts:
u know somethin on the internet is p funny when you actually laugh instead of just blow air out of your nose really fast
fukkkres:
almightyroadtriplord:
fukkkres:
i’ll eat cookie dough out an ass
niggas gonna get triple salmonella
her anus heat will neutralize the bacteria
andyvantageous:
have u ever accidently opened photobooth and had your natural expression staring back at you
it’s horrible
hamfarto:
in german i put this guy on the corner of every paper i turn in and the teacher hates me
1 tag
me: on tumblr
me: clicks video
me: please be fuckin youtube
theyellowbrickroad:
i get high self esteem when an animal that hates everybody else ends up liking me
tsarcasm:
Long distance relationships have a certain charm.
Tell me what you want to do to me but don’t put your fucking hands on me.
the two hardest things in the world are trying not to eat out of boredom and not taking 6 hour naps after school
2 tags
Watchhomootp:
please send help immediately
velociraptr:
these are my favorite pictures of russell crowe omg
a-sexy-cat:
forgetting somethingng important in the other room just after getting comfortable
pizza:
rockandkrull:
pizza:
i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it
actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse
i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty...
lexingtonand52:
if you give me a task with no deadline i will literally never do it but if you give me a deadline i will get it done exactly 1 hour before the deadline even if the deadline is in six years
April 2013
makaracinnamon:
bardsplay:
me sneakin up on da pussy
i JsUT FUCKING SPIT EVERYWHERE
poopinginschool:
interviewer: any special talents?
me:
seifukucat:
here we have a wonderful piece of 13th century art
wow isn’t that just majestic okay let’s take a little closer look at this masterful work
oh
